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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

a timely fashion

Hypothetical situation (or not)...

You have a friend who you've been trying to contact for several days to no avail. You say to yourself "Okay, I'll try to contact her one more time before she can kiss my ass and then I'm gonna' blog nasty things about her!" and that very night, you hear through a mutual friend that this friend's mother has just passed away, the friend wanted me to know and you are told that the friend would call you the following week.

The very next day, you run right out, pick up a sympathy card, write some very sweet and personal sentiments in it and mail it. You want to talk to your friend to see how she's doing but you decide it's best to respect her wishes and wait for her to call you. So you wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Considering that her parents live in a lovely cottage on her property, you assume she's spending a lot more time with her dad these days so you cut her a break. You understand that you have never been in her position so you don't know how you would react to other's graciousness, although you were brought up right and would have probably thanked everyone as soon as they extended their sympathies and/or offered to assist in any way.

The question for all of you is, how long are you supposed to wait until you start considering your friend a rude bitch and write the friendship off?! Do you give her the benefit of the doubt and realize that everyone is different and she will get to you in due time? And what do you consider 'due time' - a week, two weeks, a month? Or do you consider her silence as a hint that she doesn't consider you a good enough friend to even bother and she'll get to you when the spirit moves her to do so?! Or do you say to yourself "Fuck that whole respect shit!" and pick up the phone to call her?!

Death is hard, I understand that but WTF?!?



Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

that's a tough one. you send the sympathy card and were a friend, balls in her court as far as I would be concerned. Everyone deals w/ grief differently and there is no set time to get around to calling people.

February 4, 2009 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger Tug said...

I'd wait a couple weeks & then call her.

February 4, 2009 at 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Philly said...

Give her a break ! It is a very tough time for her and she is prob dealing with it in her own way. Not only is she dealing with her emotions, she has her father to deal with now. Trust me on this one, I know.
I wouldn't call her and don't be mad if she doesn't call you for a while, she will.


February 4, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger WavyDavy said...

Pick up the phone and call her. Just tell her that you were thinking of her and wanted to make sure she's OK. If she's really a friend she'll appreciate the call whether she's in mourning or not.

February 4, 2009 at 5:40 PM  

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