serenaded by the pizza man

Several years ago, the kids and I found a mom-and-pop pizza place that we immediately took to. For awhile, we had great pizza and equally as good service. The delivery guys knew us by name, we were such good customers! Unfortunately, the service started going into the shitter just this past year.

After a few times when the delivery guys showed up minus something we ordered, I started getting annoyed. The last time we ordered from them, about two months ago, the 45 minute wait time we were given turned into an hour and a half and after numerous calls inquiring about our order and no offers of compensation for my children starving for having to wait and then the delivery guy showing up again without something we ordered, I handed the food back to him and told him I was taking my business elsewhere. I told him I didn't necessarily blame him but I was tired of the people taking my order being forgetful and neglecting to put in our entire order. I mean I'm sorry people, but I don't care how hard the restaurant business may be, if you keep fucking up someone's order, then chances are you shouldn't be answering the phone and taking the damn orders!

I thought that I would hear from the owners soon after, apologizing for their fuck-ups and begging us to stay customers. That never happened. Until today.

One of the owners inquired about us yesterday seeing that we hadn't used their services in awhile and our regular delivery guy told him what happened. The owner was mortified and called me first thing today to apologize and that from now on, should I choose to use their services again, he would personally take our order and deliver it if he had to. On top of that, he offered freebies for several months! Not sure I want to go back to them but saying 'no' is difficult especially when my kids love their food!

While talking with this guy, I walked to the front door as I noticed and strange and peculiar odor which turned out to be Schwartz leaving me a rather wet and messy "gift" on my front door mat (which was immediately tossed in the nearest garbage bag, I might add) and the owner said something that caught my attention..."I'll deliver it myself 'cause I know where you live.".

Moments later, the conversation ended and the roar of an engine caught my attention - it was the owner pulling out of my driveway!

I can't seem to get "I know where you live." out of my head!

I'm afraid that he'll put something poisonous in my pizza next time we meet. I think I'll call this slasher film The Pepperoni Man. Heh.