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Saturday, May 30, 2009

a little too much info'mation

I was tossing and turning early this morning, ya' know, like every other morning, when I opened my eyes, looked at the TV and saw the ShamWow guy. Only he wasn't excitingly regurgitating information about ShamWow, it was for something called Slap Chop, a little plastic device that when you slam your hand down on it a few times, it can chop and dice anything you can think of.

So he's chopping away - potatoes, fruit, your grandma's little finger (just wanted to make sure you're paying attention) - and he suddenly says...

"Oh, you're gonna' love my nuts!"

*blank stare*

Yeah, he proceeded to chop up some nuts but for a brief moment, the tone in his voice made me think that he was actually gonna' whip out his balls and wave 'em at the screen. I mean, I believed him about the Shamwow and wasted $20 on them only to discover that they move liquid around really well but don't soak it up the way he claims they do so why wouldn't I believe that he would yank those babies outta' his pants?!

This is the only up-side to not sleeping well. You get to see all the crap trying to be sold on TV in the wee hours of the morning.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

You had me at hello. The title drew me in from another blog, and then the blog description under the title cemented my desire to read on. And THEN, you made fun of the sham wow guy and his "you're going to love my nuts" comment, which I too noticed before. It's nice to meet you.

May 30, 2009 at 7:03 AM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Hey Phil! Welcome! I hope someday you too can see the ShamWow Guy tell you about his nuts, lol. I really had to tell myself to start breathing again, I was in a bit of shock!

June 1, 2009 at 6:58 AM  
Blogger Charlie said...

I'm thinking out loud here, but I wonder which would hurt more: getting my nuts slap chopped or getting them caught in the car door by accident.

Ouch?

June 1, 2009 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Charlie, thanks for that vivid picture, lol. I don't know which would hurt more and it pains even me to think about it!

June 1, 2009 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger WavyDavy said...

If he chopped his nuts off, I would buy the thing. That's entertaining tv.

June 3, 2009 at 10:03 AM  

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