the good news

Okay, so last I left y'all, I had some good news to share. I wasn't going to share it right away but Pandora made a random stab in the dark in her comment to my last blog post as to what my news was and was partially right (Pan, you fucking witch!). In any case, I thought it was time to fess up.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. It started in my elementary school years when I would write silly stories just for kicks to entertain others. I even won some state and national book-writing awards. My love for writing continued throughout all my schooling, including college. It didn't matter what I majored in because I knew no matter what, my desired long-term goal would be fiction writing.

As a young adult, I brainstormed like most people breathe oxygen. I carried pads of paper and small notebooks around with me wherever I went, and I still do that to this day. I wrote story lines that I developed into rough drafts, knowing one day they would develop into real writings. But time, work and life got in the way and I was never able to complete these stories.

This continued into the early years of my marriage. Just as Anne Rice was coming out with her vampire series, I had an entire vampire series lined out and, if I do say so myself, it was good. But, of course, marriage, children and life put all that on hold and I was okay with that. I knew a time would come when I would either complete those writings or do something else. If anything, I would get something published just so my children would one day see it. It didn't matter if I became a well-known author, just as long as my children had something to be proud of me.

Early on this December, I read the first book in the Twilight series. I proceeded to read the entire four-book series in a week's time, each book taking me only two days to read. For those who've seen/read the books, they are all very long so you know how much sleep I lost during that week.

You might be wondering what I found so intriguing about these books to read them so quickly. It's not that I think author Stephanie Meyer is such a fabulous writer, although I will admit she grabbed my attention from the first page which, for me at least, is very important. If I can't get into a book within the first ten pages, I usually put it down and never pick it up again.

What caught me a bit off-guard was that her story was my story! Don't get me wrong, no one stole anything but author Stephanie Meyer's Twilight novels and many of my ideas weren't just similar, they were exactly the same. And I was pissed. Not at her, at myself for not lighting a fire under my ass all those years ago and doing what I love to do best. I was pissed that it could have been me entertaining so many people with my vivid tales of vampire lust and love.

Anyway, fast forward to the present. On Friday December 26th, I left on my long-dreaded trip to visit my family. That Thursday, after years of suffering from writer's block and not really giving a damn whether or not I wrote or even if I ever had a book published, the writing bug suddenly hit me again, full force. On that Thursday alone, inbetween waiting for the hives to surface and packing, I regurgitated 173 pages of what I truly believe will be my first novel. And while I was away, I wrote every free second that was generously given to me, pretty much to help save my sanity from my family's dysfunction. For once, I was excited not to be someone who had decent sleep habits as I would awaken at 4, 5 in the morning and write non-stop for almost two hours if not more until my children would wake. As of 6:30 this past Thursday morning, I had hand-written my entire first novel and fifty pages of a sequel. My kids were at their dad's this past weekend and other than a few brief periods of sleep, eating and peeing, I spent most of my weekend writing instead of unpacking. I very rarely left my desk. It is all very rough and it will take me months of editing and fine-tuning but I do believe this is my time to shine.

In recent years, as my kids have developed more independence, I thought about getting back into writing but thinking it and doing it are two totally different things. I truly believe that everyone is put on this earth for a significant reason and for some time now I thought that mine was to be the best mother possible. There's nothing wrong with that and, in fact, not a moment has passed in my past eleven+ years as a mother where I didn't consider some aspect of parenthood fulfilling and rewarding. But I've always known that there was something more for me out there and I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for this new chapter in my life to finally take shape!