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Monday, April 27, 2009

i feel like i drank the Kool-Aid

I feel like a hem that has become unraveled.

Every day it's another ache or ailment to deal with.

In early April, I was sick with some kind of funky virus that went on for nearly two weeks. My tonsils were the size of rocks, my throat was swollen, I woke up one morning with the start of a sinus infection, goop in my eyes and on and on it went. Every time I sneezed, I thought I saw a little piece of gray matter coming out my nose. Okay, maybe those were boogers but still...Honestly, it was one of the worst and strangest sicknesses I've ever had.

The only good thing that came of it is that it seems to have cured my migraines. I went from taking a migraine pill every day for the past two+ years to taking only two this month. Not really sure what happened but now it seems that OTC meds work fine for me. I'm sure it's only temporary but at least for now, I don't get many severe headaches and I'm very happy about that.

Now I'm sick again. Well, at least I felt sick yesterday so I'm not sure if it's another cold coming on or my allergies are going wonky. Whatever the case, I've been hacking up heaves of guam. Heaves. I like that word. I wonder if they use that measurement in the metric system?! I like 'guam' too because you can almost taste the mucus and you don't think I'm talking about the country.

Last week, I started feeling some minimal discomfort in my right thigh. When I stand up from a seated position, whether I'm at my desk or getting outta' the car, I have to limp it off. I feel like I'm channeling Dr. House (you won't understand that unless you watch House). I'm sure it's just another crazy thing that will work itself out soon enough, but it's fucking annoying!

Last night, I was doing dishes when I felt a strange pain in my chest. I'm still here so I take it is was nothing but c'mon already!!

I'm a good girl. I take my vitamins daily, drink my juice, eat fruit like it's going out of style, watch my weight (and sometimes I watch it grow), etc.. Is it too much to ask that I be healthy as I enter my 41st year?!

And to make matters worse, a few days ago, I noticed a pimple on my chin. I've been forgetting to apply zit cream so of course now, it's the size of Mt. Hood. Fucking pimple.

As I get older, I'm becoming increasingly intolerant of people in general. First it was just other peoples' kids, now it's people. All of 'em! Including my own son! Take what happened the other day, for instance...

On Saturday, I was dealing with that crazy credit card bullshit. It was also the country fair at my kids' school. Just last Saturday, I had to buy my son a new pair of sneakers and, of course, the most comfortable were a pricey pair of Under Armor. So Saturday night he was having a triple date (at 11 years of age) and he calls me an hour before he's supposed to meet his friends at the movie to tell me that when he was at the country fair, he picked up a pair of size 3 sneakers that looked just like his.

Now here's the problem with that...my son is a size 6.5. He can't see the difference between the two sizes?! Furthermore, what was he doing between 3pm, the time that the fair ended, and 6pm, when he was getting ready for his date? Obviously he hadn't been wearing any shoes for the those three hours so, what, he was walking around like a fucking caveman?!

That on top of the fact that he broke his cell phone again a few weeks ago. IF I choose to replace it (the jury is still out on that one), that will be his fifth phone. He is so fucking irresponsible with it and then with the whole shoe thing, it just really irks me to no end. Here's the story...when he was on spring break with his dad in March, he jumped into a pool with the phone still in his pocket. Apparently, my son was completely unaware that the phone was not water-proof. *shakes head*

I got him a new one, telling him that was it. If he broke the next one I was canceling the account. "Fine." he said (yeah, right). TWO WEEKS later, while at his dad's for the weekend, he was walking aimlessly around texting non-stop to his friends, phone hip-high as he's walking, when he slammed into a dining room chair and CRUNCH! The screen cracked. The person who shall not be mentioned here Emailed me to TELL me to replace his phone, ending the message that my son was too scared to talk to me about it.

Ya' know, if it wasn't for the person who shall not be mentioned here, I wouldn't have had to get our son a phone at age ten and now he's TELLING me to get him a new one.

Well, I sent him back a rather scathing message, telling him that I didn't appreciate him TELLING me to replace the phone. "I'm not made of fucking money!" I yelled at him through the computer. Furthermore, he needs to stop enabling our almost-12 year old son and help me make him understand that there are consequences for our actions and to have our son fight his own battles instead of him doing the dirty work for him.

Sorry for the tangent. My whole point of telling y'all that story was because after my son told me about his sneakers, I asked him if he was going to continue to be so irresponsible with his things, how was I to trust him with a new phone? I made his dad go get him another pair of quality shoes yesterday and I told my son I was withdrawing the money I spent on the sneakers from his bank account at which he was horrified because, as he said, "What happens if I find the shoes in lost and found?". Ya' know what, sweetie? Who the fuck cares?! Do you see dollar bills dangling from my armpits from which I can just grab at whenever I need to pay for something?! IT'S TO TEACH YOU A DAMN LESSON!!!!

I was just too steamed for words. That night, I posted as my Facebook status that going on a murdering rampage sounded like an acceptable idea. Suddenly, I was getting lectured from some dickhead that my status wasn't cool, and starts going on and on about a story in his area about how so-and-so murdered his entire family because he didn't want them to know that he was embezzling money from his company, blah, blah, blah. Ya' know what I told him? SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

It's my fucking profile page but because some asswipe doesn't like the status I've written, I deserve to be lectured for it?! Am I not permitted to have a bad day and vent my frustrations in the form of a measly status? Oh yeah, like I'm really going to go out and kill people because my son hasn't caught onto the whole responsibility thing yet?! Well, I'll tell y'all something - I may be psycho but I'm not that psycho! Heh.

When I woke up Sunday morning, he had deleted his comment without so much as an apology for offending me. I gave him ample time to offer me one throughout the day but when he didn't, I deleted him. Ta-ta, assclown!

Shit, if I wanted to be lectured about something I'd call my freakin' parents!

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Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I hope you feel better!!!
After going through 5 phones, I wouldn't buy him another one either. That's ridiclous.
I couldn't help laughing about the time line of not having the shoes, seriously what was he doing w/ no shoes for that amount of time LOL

April 27, 2009 at 3:55 PM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Thank you! I actually feel much better today so it must have been allergies. I should have admitted that I wasn't routinely taking my allergy meds for the last few days so I suspect that was the problem.

At the fair, my kids decided it wasn't worth taking off their shoes and putting them back on since they were on and off rides that required them to have their shoes off. I can understand that but then they left there still walking around in their socks? That's just too fucking neanderthal-ish to me, lol. My son is just a really good example of how men in general aren't very observant (sorry guys) or else he would have noticed the tiny sneakers would never fit over his big toe!

April 27, 2009 at 4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally agree with NOT replacing the phone! My son is 14, has had a phone for four years, and has NEVER broken,lost or wet his phone!! It is time to learn a lesson. If your son has a bank account, maybe he can replace his own phone??????? Trust me he will be more careful with the new one that HE purchased!

April 27, 2009 at 6:04 PM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Anon, thanks for stopping by. That's just it, he does have a bank account and I have used it several times in order to try to make him understand the consequences of his behavior but I guess he just hasn't learned from it yet. The last time this happened back in March, he quickly offered to "pay" for things using some gift cards he got for his birthday that he hadn't yet used. While I thought that was very generous, apparently giving up gift cards isn't such a big deal...as they probably would have already been used if he had been interested in using them. In any case, I had a blow out with my son this evening in which I told him that his attitude stinks as he thinks that everything should be handed to him on a silver platter. And since no one turned in his sneakers when they obviously realized that they had a nice pair on their hands, and then the whole business with the phone, that he won't be getting a new phone until after he returns home from overnight camp in mid-July. And still, that all depends on his attitude. I also sent his dad an Email tonight saying that IF he gets a new phone, it's the last one that I'm paying for and if that one gets damaged, his dad will either get him a phone or he will have no phone.

April 27, 2009 at 8:07 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

Is it me, or does there seem to be a pandemic of (1) not taking responsibility for one's things and actions and (2) there is a sense of entitlement (me, me, me!)?

April 28, 2009 at 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Coco said...

New here. I know all too well how you feel. Been there, done that and still doing that. Had to get some tough love going especially since they are now in their twenties.

Like your blog....

May 15, 2009 at 8:49 PM  

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