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Thursday, April 9, 2009

all this unnecessary drama is gonna' make my hair fall out!!

The story I have to tell you may get a little confusing. I don't like using real names in my posts so I usually just use the first initial of the person's name. With that, I am leaving you with a key so that [hopefully] you can follow along.

G = Girlfriend gossip-monger who first reported that my daughter was bullying.
J = The above's daughter who supposedly heard and saw what happened.
K = The mother of the girl who was not bullied.
R = The lying sack of shit who was trying to get my daughter in trouble.
( ) = If you see words written in parentheses, these are things I would have either liked to say and didn't feel it appropriate or just commentary.

On Tuesday afternoon, my cell phone rang and it was G.. I knew exactly why she was calling, to get a follow-up on the situation, and I put her to voicemail. I probably would have spoken to her if my daughter hadn't been in the car with me but since the situation had already been resolved in my eyes and I had made no mention of it to my daughter, I wasn't about to talk about it in front of her.

I shouldn't have thought G. would give up so easily because she called two more times within a two hour period. She was immediately sent to voicemail those times as well. She continued to try to call. Her persistence was beyond tiresome. Ya' know, there's a reason for voicemail, people! If you're one of those people out there whose tactic is to pester someone adnauseum instead of leaving messages and waiting for the person to return your call when they're available to do so, stop it! Do I really need to explain why there's voicemail?! Leave a message and the person will get back to you when they can. Grow some patience, fuck-ryingoutloud! Actually, I think I'm growing some in my garden, I'll be happy to share some with you! Oh wait, those are Impatiens. Nevermind. *wink*

Anyway, I finally decided it be best to get it over with and call her back to see what she wanted, even though I already knew.

G: Hi! I was calling to see if you found out anything about the bullying.

(You mean the non-existent bullying.)

ME: Ya' know G., I so appreciate and admire the friendship you must have with K. for you to feel comfortable enough to speak for her, but to be perfectly honest, I'd prefer not talking to you about this anymore. K. and I know each other well enough that if she needs to discuss something with me, she can call me herself or speak to the teachers and the guidance counselor and they can tell her the same things they told me. We know who each other are, we've made small talk with each other on many occasions so if she needs to speak to me, please tell her I welcome the call.

G.: Oh. Okay.

("Oh. Okay." seems to be a vital part of this woman's vocabulary in order for her to convey the proper message to others.)

G: (humming and hawwing for a few minutes, trying to get out the words) Well, if you must know, J. said...

(It seems that G.'s daughter is following closely in her mother's gossiping footsteps. Well, they do say the apple never falls far from the tree so...)

ME: (interrupting) G., with all due respect, if J. is not directly involved, does not report it to the teachers or the guidance counselor or doesn't have witnesses or evidence to back up her story (I really need to stop watching all these crime dramas on TV), she needs to stay out of it. It's really not her business to police my daughter. I realize that the teachers don't always see the same things the kids see but again, if she sees something happening at school, she has to tell someone other than you. You can't do anything about it, they can. And to be perfectly honest, I was not only very upset after hearing this news from you, as I'm sure you knew I would be, but I was also very upset with myself for jumping the gun and getting so angry before finding out all the facts so in the future, should this type of incident happen again, I think it best to leave it up to the teachers or the parents directly involved instead of relying on the gossip mill. Again, I do appreciate that you alerted me to a potential situation, but if this type of thing happens, again I think it best that I hear it from them or from K. directly.

G: I hope you're not saying that you think J. is lying!!

(Oh God, here we go!)

ME: G., I never said any such thing so please don't put words in my mouth. It's all about perspective. If J. thinks she sees or hears something happening, tell her to speak up. If not or she's not sure something happened, she shouldn't. But if she keeps reporting back to you about something that's none of your business you can't do anything about it and I certainly don't want to get anymore of these phone calls prying into what I now consider personal business. Only the people involved can help to resolve things and if K. isn't willing to speak up for her own child, then I'm sorry, but that's her cross to bear.

G.: But it is my business! K.'s my friend!

ME: G., I realize she's your friend but there's a difference about it being your business and making it your business and this situation is not your business. Now if K. chooses to make her business your business, then that's her right but then you will need to find out the details from her.

By this point, I really wanted to get off the phone! Talking with her on the phone is never fun, she speaks so fast you can barely understand her and the constant interruptions, all so she can get out what she needs to say, are extremely annoying.

G: You sound mad. I hope you're not mad at me!

(Oy vey. This woman can't have anyone mad at her. Ever. She's neurotic about it. If she thinks someone's mad at her, she will obsess over it.)

ME: No G., I'm not the least bit mad at you but I really do need to go so I'll talk to you later, okay? Thanks for calling!

And wouldn't you know it? As of yesterday afternoon, she was still calling me! She called me twice, left one message and then obviously had ants in her pants and couldn't wait for me to return her call so she tried calling me again. I've come to the conclusion that I really don't like nosy people! Why is it that some people can't just mind their own fucking business?!

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Blogger Attila The Mom said...

"Grow some patience, fuck-ryingoutloud! Actually, I think I'm growing some in my garden, I'll be happy to share some with you! Oh wait, those are Impatiens. Nevermind. *wink*"

My God you have a fabulous way with words. I'm just totally laughing my ass off!

And good for you! I think you handled the situation brilliantly!

April 9, 2009 at 7:11 AM  
Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

G sounds so annoying! wonder if you should just change your phone # so you don't have to deal w/ her anymore LOL

April 9, 2009 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Mom, coming from you, that compliment means everything because I adore the way you write!

BS/BC, your opinion would be dead on. She not only sounds annoying, she IS annoying, lol. I have always admired how outgoing she is and she is generally very sweet-natured but this having to know everyone's business is not becoming at all. I will give her this, she's got a magical talent for being able to bad-mouth someone and make it sound like she's praising them, lol. And I'm not changing my number for her! Sending her to voicemail and not returning her calls from this point on sends a very clear message I think, lol. It's actually nice having people like her programmed in my phone because then it's easier to avoid them, LOL!

April 9, 2009 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger Charlie said...

Why is it that some people can't just mind their own fucking business?!

Because, dearest Gertie, they don't have any business of their own.

April 9, 2009 at 9:24 PM  

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