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Saturday, April 4, 2009

stuck on stupid

For those of you not on Facebook, this will take some explaining. So, once again, grab your beverage of choice and chillax. God, I hate that word but yes, I did in fact use it.

A long, long time ago, on an Internet dating site based out of Beverly Hills, California, I "met" a woman we'll call "Fucked-up Nutcase". Yes, I made more women friends than met actual men. Go figure.

Anyway, FUN and I chatted, became "friends" and eventually and occasionally Emailed off the site. We had a falling out, my mind escapes me exactly what occurred, but nevertheless, she acted fruity and I told her that I was losing her Email address. Fast.

Fast forward to early fall when she requested to be added to my Facebook friend's list. I actually had to ask around for someone to remind me who she was! When I found out, I waited several days before adding her to my list, weighing the pros and cons of doing so. I hesitated for a reason, I only wish I had listened to my conscience then.

Facebook has a gazillion and a half of these stupid game applications that you can log into, one of which is called Celebrity Agent. Now let's stop for a moment and think about what a celebrity agent actually does. An agent represents celebrities. It's a cut throat business in which agents are always trying to scam other agents out of their clients because the entire business is about making more money than ten million Donald Trumps put together.

So what is the point of this game? To start, you select six celebrities. You then invite friends to participate because you need those friends to what? What?! That's right, steal from them. And on top of stealing the celebrity in question, you have the option of locking them in for a certain amount of time so that said celebrity cannot be stolen away from you right away. All very exciting, lemme' tell you. *rolls eyes*

So FUN is on my list of people I play against and over just the last few days she's up $20K. So as a celebrity agent, what do I do? I check out her celebrities to find her money-maker celeb. I find her and I swipe her. Fast and hard, hitting below the belt by locking her. Bwahahaha! She's mine!

I leave home to go watch my daughter play in her hockey game and arrive back awhile later to find a crazy-assed IM from FUN. It read:

Miss Koolio...what ya' doin'? I see Obama on your list all the time, he's available and I don't take him...because I don't do that to friends.

*blank stare*

Did I forget to mention that this lunatic is over 50 years old?! I really hope she's not wondering why she's still single. But that's beside the point.

Anyway, I responded to her IM with an Email. In true Koolio form, it was entitled GET OVER IT. Heh.

Of all the people on here, I never expected YOU to whine about PLAYING A GAME. Since it seems you never read the purpose behind Celebrity Agent, you are supposed to steal others celebs in order to make money. I was playing the GAME, you're just kvetching about it.

Honestly, I am very surprised with myself for even dignifying your ridiculousness over such a thing with a reply but even more surprised that you're acting like a 3 year old. Go throw your tizzy elsewhere, I'm not interested.

With that, I deleted her from my friend's list. Silly perhaps, but if I have one less crackpot in my life, the better it is for me. Then I wrote in my status bar...

Koolio says FYI - if you contact me to whine about how you think I'm not playing an FB GAME fairly, I have 3 words for you - GROW UP and "defriend". Have a nice day.

Her response to me:

Koolio...You're right not to have expected me to whine...I wasn't whining in fact I'm surprised u took the remark so seriously.

STOP! Just back the fuck up!! Did I misread something when she sent me an IM clearly complaining to me about my playing the game in what she thought was an unfair manner? Please, someone tell me! And if she wasn't serious, then what was the purpose of sending me the IM in the first place?!

She continued:

Your prerogative, of course...and if you ever feel like being on my list again, feel free.

Okay, that last part was laughable. If I ever want to be on her list again? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! How was she able to turn this around on me and make me look like I was to blame for her bad behavior?!

I'm undecided as to whether I should ream her out or move on. On one hand, reaming her out would be so fulfilling, on the other hand, haven't I wasted enough time on this fucknut??!

Oh by the way...I'm making a buttload of money off that celeb I stole from her! And the sweet part about the whole thing is that she's no longer on my friend's list which means she's no longer someone who can play against me in Celebrity Agent and she can't steal her celeb back.

Ahh, sweet reward. *insert big evil grin here*

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Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Do you ever feel like a futjob magnet? LOL

And if only it were REAL money (sigh)! Wouldn't that be cool!

April 5, 2009 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger WavyDavy said...

So who did you steal? Nice job, by the way on keeping her celeb after defriending her. That is sweet. Facebook is a weird thing. I find myself having a hard time not adding people when they ask to be my friend, but then I regret it afterwards. Like a certain ex-roomie of mine. I actually said yes to adding him by accident, but I should have made a point of defriending him right away. Instead I let it drag on. At least you can elect to not see a person's updates. Anyway, the less psychotic Facebook game-players you have in your life te better.

April 5, 2009 at 8:33 AM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Mom, all the time. *heavy sigh* ;)
If it were real money, I would understand her being annoyed as she had earned over a $100K. I wouldn't mind taking home my measly $80K.

Dave, I stole Madonna. With all the news about her lately trying to adopt that little girl, she was a big hitter! And thank you, I was equally as pleased with myself for taking her celeb and then deleting her so that she couldn't steal her back. If I thought she was annoyed before, man watch out! Psycho bitch on the loose, lol. And I remember when you added AG. I knew it was a mistake but I'm interested in knowing details of course! If you can find some time when you're back from your trip (Germany is it?) please feel free to Email.

April 5, 2009 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Charlie said...

I don't think I could handle Facebook and all the nutjobsā€”I have plenty of those already, familiarly called in-laws.

April 5, 2009 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I ignore all of those applications, I am too lazy to figure out how to play them. I can't believe she got all bent out of shape because you stole her celebrity, it's how the game is played!

April 6, 2009 at 8:29 AM  

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