whisper down the lane

Remember that children's game where you sit in a line, someone starts off whispering something and by the time it reaches the last person, it becomes something entirely different than what was originally said?

On Monday, I received a very disturbing phone call from a friend of mine, a mother of a girl in my daughter's class. She told me that she'd gotten a call from another mother in the class that my daughter was bullying her daughter and that her daughter was "very scared" of my daughter.

I can't recall if I blogged about the time several months ago where I got a call from the guidance counselor how my daughter had been doing some bullying. Either way, I was mortified to know this about my daughter. As a young girl, I was bullied by kids for the glasses I wore and only finally stood up for myself in the 7th grade against that little Oompa Loompa-sized dork, Kipp Cohen after calling me a four-eyed caboose and I told him "Shut up, brace face!". That was the last time Kipp Cohen ever spoke to me. I can still see the expression on his face when he realized I fought back. Ahhh, priceless.

Anyway, because my daughter is a sweet girl in general (don't get me wrong, she has her moments!) and, most of the time, respectful of others, she was given a slap on her wrist, told how inappropriate it was to say certain things and let go with a warning not to do it again. Later on that same day, I made her promise to me that she would never do that again and that I took promises seriously so if she promised, she had to keep it. She promised. And I believe her.

So when I got this phone call, you can imagine how my blood started to boil. I had already thought about all the things and privileges I was going to take away from her after just hearing this from someone whom I knew was a gossip and doesn't get all her facts straight.

Before school let out on Monday afternoon, I was able to find some alone time with my daughter's teacher and assistant teacher. We sat down, I spoke and they both sat there looking dumbfounded. They hadn't heard squat about my daughter doing any such thing, nor had anyone reported her, nor did they really think my daughter had any opportunity during the day to behave in such a manner since there was always a teacher around, teachers are supposed to report such incidences and there were no said reports against my daughter. In fact, they said that she was delightful to have in class, that she was really keeping to herself, doing her work diligently and accurately and was the most improved student of all the kids in the class.

*blank stare*

I didn't know what to say especially since I never expected to get such a favorable report after hearing potentially bad news. They assured me that they would do some digging but that most of the kids in the class were very good about reporting others if they acted out (yeah, those freakin' tattle-tales!) and they honestly hadn't heard anything. It really was quite the odd meeting!

I left feeling very bad that I would go souly on the word of a gossip-monger and that I thought my child would be guilty of something before finding out the truth. Coincidentally enough, as I was leaving the building, I ran into the mother of the girl who said my daughter was bullying her! I stopped her to talk to her and was not about to apologize to her for anything until I finished my investigation into the matter. She was on her way in to meet with the principal as her daughter, the same one who was accusing my daughter of hurting her, was doing very poorly in school and because of that, everything else negative that happened in her life was greatly magnified. In other words, she was blowing shit outta' proportion.

Hmmmm...I had a feeling right then and there that her daughter was a little fucking liar.

Prior to my meeting with my daughter's teacher, I had already contacted the guidance counselor. She got back to me later on in the day and I met with her yesterday morning. She, too, had done some investigating and neither saw or heard anything wrong with my daughter. In fact, again, quite the opposite and she said how everyone was so proud of her. Talk about a sense of relief!

She also said that the girl in question has quite a way of dramatizing things. And with three other sisters, she was most likely doing it to get attention. She said she would bring her in to talk about. I told her that I didn't feel it was a good idea to bring my daughter in with her. After all the positive changes my daughter has gone through, I would hate for her to feel shot down if she found out someone was making up stories about her. The guidance counselor agreed.

She also assured me that the little girl doing the accusing is not scared about anything. That she knows how to stick up for herself just fine and it was probably just a case of perception. Regardless, if that little girl every tries to fuck with my daughter again, I'M gonna' kick her ass myself!

stuck on stupid

For those of you not on Facebook, this will take some explaining. So, once again, grab your beverage of choice and chillax. God, I hate that word but yes, I did in fact use it.

A long, long time ago, on an Internet dating site based out of Beverly Hills, California, I "met" a woman we'll call "Fucked-up Nutcase". Yes, I made more women friends than met actual men. Go figure.

Anyway, FUN and I chatted, became "friends" and eventually and occasionally Emailed off the site. We had a falling out, my mind escapes me exactly what occurred, but nevertheless, she acted fruity and I told her that I was losing her Email address. Fast.

Fast forward to early fall when she requested to be added to my Facebook friend's list. I actually had to ask around for someone to remind me who she was! When I found out, I waited several days before adding her to my list, weighing the pros and cons of doing so. I hesitated for a reason, I only wish I had listened to my conscience then.

Facebook has a gazillion and a half of these stupid game applications that you can log into, one of which is called Celebrity Agent. Now let's stop for a moment and think about what a celebrity agent actually does. An agent represents celebrities. It's a cut throat business in which agents are always trying to scam other agents out of their clients because the entire business is about making more money than ten million Donald Trumps put together.

So what is the point of this game? To start, you select six celebrities. You then invite friends to participate because you need those friends to what? What?! That's right, steal from them. And on top of stealing the celebrity in question, you have the option of locking them in for a certain amount of time so that said celebrity cannot be stolen away from you right away. All very exciting, lemme' tell you. *rolls eyes*

So FUN is on my list of people I play against and over just the last few days she's up $20K. So as a celebrity agent, what do I do? I check out her celebrities to find her money-maker celeb. I find her and I swipe her. Fast and hard, hitting below the belt by locking her. Bwahahaha! She's mine!

I leave home to go watch my daughter play in her hockey game and arrive back awhile later to find a crazy-assed IM from FUN. It read:

Miss Koolio...what ya' doin'? I see Obama on your list all the time, he's available and I don't take him...because I don't do that to friends.

*blank stare*

Did I forget to mention that this lunatic is over 50 years old?! I really hope she's not wondering why she's still single. But that's beside the point.

Anyway, I responded to her IM with an Email. In true Koolio form, it was entitled GET OVER IT. Heh.

Of all the people on here, I never expected YOU to whine about PLAYING A GAME. Since it seems you never read the purpose behind Celebrity Agent, you are supposed to steal others celebs in order to make money. I was playing the GAME, you're just kvetching about it.

Honestly, I am very surprised with myself for even dignifying your ridiculousness over such a thing with a reply but even more surprised that you're acting like a 3 year old. Go throw your tizzy elsewhere, I'm not interested.

With that, I deleted her from my friend's list. Silly perhaps, but if I have one less crackpot in my life, the better it is for me. Then I wrote in my status bar...

Koolio says FYI - if you contact me to whine about how you think I'm not playing an FB GAME fairly, I have 3 words for you - GROW UP and "defriend". Have a nice day.

Her response to me:

Koolio...You're right not to have expected me to whine...I wasn't whining in fact I'm surprised u took the remark so seriously.

STOP! Just back the fuck up!! Did I misread something when she sent me an IM clearly complaining to me about my playing the game in what she thought was an unfair manner? Please, someone tell me! And if she wasn't serious, then what was the purpose of sending me the IM in the first place?!

She continued:

Your prerogative, of course...and if you ever feel like being on my list again, feel free.

Okay, that last part was laughable. If I ever want to be on her list again? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! How was she able to turn this around on me and make me look like I was to blame for her bad behavior?!

I'm undecided as to whether I should ream her out or move on. On one hand, reaming her out would be so fulfilling, on the other hand, haven't I wasted enough time on this fucknut??!

Oh by the way...I'm making a buttload of money off that celeb I stole from her! And the sweet part about the whole thing is that she's no longer on my friend's list which means she's no longer someone who can play against me in Celebrity Agent and she can't steal her celeb back.

Ahh, sweet reward. *insert big evil grin here*

ya' know what sucks?

Waking up in the morning and being annoyed with some of you bloggers. Yes, YOU! Not all of you, just some of you. And being annoyed with people I don't even know but nevertheless, yes, annoyed.

Why? Well, every so often I mention on here how sorry I am that I haven't been able to get to your blogs and that I will read them when I can find time to come up from air. Apparently, some of you out there don't believe me when I tell you that being a single, full-time mom is hard work. I've been busy. Super busy, in fact. I was on the go for weeks before my kids went on spring break, then they were away with their dad for their break and while I did get some downtime, I also worked on several projects that I'd had on my TO DO list for some time, some being on there for over a year. So not even then did I get a chance to read any blogs.

Then my kids came home from spring break and their sports started right back up and I had to take my daughter to a Twilight party when the DVD was released because, as you may know, Twilight has a huge cult following and my daughter is one of their newest members. If I ever see her with her eyes all glazed over and handing out flowers on a street corner, I'll kill her...but forgive me for going off on a small tangent.

So I bought a bunch of Twilight crap, over-priced shit I promised I wouldn't buy, all in the name of love I guess, came home and was told that I will now redecorate her room with a Twilight theme. Well fuck me!! With all due respect to my daughter, when I repainted her room a few years ago, a theme was never included so I'm more than happy to oblige.

Then, on top of everything else, I made the poor choice of fucking around with my blog and now everything is wonky. Too many fonts, some that shouldn't even be there. Don't ask me to explain, I'm sure y'all can see for yourselves.

In any case, there are some of you out there who decided to choose shitty templates for your blogs where not all of us can read dark print on dark backgrounds because we've been wearing glasses since the age of 3 and/or don't have super-human X-ray vision. Or something like that. And out of courtesy I mentioned that to you, you know who you are, but you still remove me from your links because I haven't visited your blog lately. HAVE YOU VISITED MINE??????? Then there are those whose blogs take forever and a day to load and who the fuck has the time for that?! I have pee to wipe, children to chauffeur (or however the fuck you spell that word), air to breathe and a shitload of Facebooking to take care of! In the immortal words of Napoleon Dynamite...GOD!!!

So here I am getting all perturbed over strangers. Stupid, yes I know. But as I'm visiting your blogs, I'm finding too many of you have already given up on me and have deleted me from your links and while it's certainly your choice to do that, I think it's rude. Does all that free advertising you provide of others' blogs take up so much space that you have to make room for those people who hang on your every word and ' lol' at everything you say? I realize I haven't been the best blogging friend but I don't feel like I need to offer anyone excuses/reasons as to why I haven't been to "see" you. So in any case, don't be too surprised if you visit me and find yourself among the deleted here. I don't provide free advertising for those of you who don't reciprocate. Just sayin'.

And to those of you who haven't yet given up on me, thank you.

support your local geeks

This is a warning to all you Best Buy shoppers - Best Buy is great when it comes to reasonably-priced household appliances and techy gadgets and gizmos, but do NOT, under ANY circumstances, take your computers to The Geek Squad.

Take it from this dissatisfied customer, it's not worth the temper tantrum you will throw.

I thought I had written back in January about my son's computer problems, but either I'm blind, which is always a possibility, and can't find the post or I didn't actually write about it. In any case, my son's computer browser stopped working and he couldn't access the Internet which meant that he couldn't play his Internet games or AIM his friends. Gasp! The horror! Anyway, I took it to Best Buy to have it evaluated by The Geek Squad. The way I figured it was the computer was still considered new since I had just purchased it in September, and it was under warranty so if it needed fixing, they could fix it and it wouldn't cost me that much in the process.

The latter is a misconception. The Geek Squad is not part of Best Buy, they only rent space from them so Best Buy endorses them. The Geek Squad was not willing to offer me any great deals just because I had purchased the computer from the same store they were in. Fuckers.

But that's not really the beef I have with them.

Two weeks ago today I dropped the computer off for a full diagnostic. The first expected completion date read January 31st - one week since dropping off the computer. On a separate piece of paper, the expected completion date read February 2nd. Either/or, it was past both expected completion dates and I was determined to find out once and for all WTF was going on with the computer!

Deep inside, however, my psychic abilities had already kicked it into high gear and I knew before I even entered the store yesterday that they hadn't even touched my computer. Sure enough, I was right.

The geek punched in my information, returned from the back room where they store the computers needing work with an "Uh oh, this 'puter ain't done!" expression on his face and broke the bad news to me. I gestured to him to give me my computer, I was taking it with me. At the same time, I told him I wanted to speak to a store manager. Not quite sure why it took him five more minutes to plug in information into their computers, get me the computer and then get me a manager, but it did.

Why did I want the store manager? Well, aside from the fact that they hadn't fixed my computer in the alloted timeframe, I had tried calling the store five separate times on Monday afternoon to find out the status on my computer, each time waiting several minutes for someone to answer and no one ever answered the fucking phone. Not at the Geek Squad desk nor any sales associate within the entire store. I tried calling once a day thereafter and even then, no one ever answered the fucking phone.

I'm talking Best Buy here, people! I'm not talking some little mom-and-pop set-up where one person at a time occupies the store and may need to leave on his lunch break, I'm talking a big fucking store with at least 50 employees working the store at a time. Not one of them was able to answer the phone?!

He got my computer and went over to a fellow geek who came over to see me. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked.

Aside from global warming and there not being world peace, I told him that it was a problem that I asked for a store manager and that given the 'Geek Squad' printed on his shirt, clearly he was not a store manager. But I told him what the problem was anyway and he asked me "Well, didn't the person who helped you tell you that it was a 3-4 week turnaround time?". NOTE: everything in italics except for the cursing, were my exact words...

No [dipshit]. I was told a 1-2 week turnaround time and if the guy assisting me had told me it would have been a 3-4 week turnaround time, then I most certainly would have not left my computer here.

"Even so," he said, "It clearly states on the contract you signed that we're entitled to change the turnaround time at our descretion."

And clearly, [asshole], if you tell someone that you will have it done for them within a certain timeframe, then you either have it done for them or you learn how to pick up that little device otherwise known as a 'telephone' and give what's called a 'courtesy call' so that the person isn't wondering where their computer is. But given that I tried calling you guys several times this week alone and there's not a phone anywhere on your counter here, I can understand why you wouldn't even think of calling me to inform me about my computer or would have heard your phone ringing because you don't have a [fucking] phone! Now get me a store manager!

Having waited another five minutes, I saw out of the corner of my eye a store manager approach the counter.

"Yeah?". (No seriously, that's how the store manager greeted me.)

I gave her the evil death glare. I tried to get deathly, skin-piercing laser beams to shoot from my eyeballs but my Super Duper Skin-piercing Eye Laser Beams must have been on the fritz.

"Yeah"? That's how you greet your customers?

Staring. "What can I help you with, ma'am?".

Oh there's the proper customer service you must have briefly lost along with your brain cells! (yes, I did say that, too.)

I then explained again what happened but emphasized the phone calling and how no one in her store answered.

"Oh...sorry."

That's all you have to say?!

"Hmmm...well, we're very busy."

Honestly folks, I thought I was being punked and that someone from the new and improved Candid Camera show was going to jump out and surprise me that all this professionalism I was being treated with was just a really bad joke being played on me.

We're all busy, you moron! I yelled at her, grabbed my receipt, got her name and the Geek Squad manager's name so I can report them later to Best Buy's corporate headquarters, called them "incompetent idiots" (redundant, I know), not only at full volume but also made sure to enunciate so that everyone within a 100 foot radius could hear me clearly.

Upon walking away, I heard her wishing me a great day in the most sarcastic voice I've ever heard. She is who they hired to manage the store. Brilliant. I guess she thinks that after I'm done reporting her to the company that she'll still have a job by the end of the week.

But the story's not done.

I whisked my computer away to a small mom-and-pop computer shop that I had taken my computer to once before. At 4pm yesterday afternoon, Tweaks by Geeks had fixed my son's computer.

WHAT!!

did i say i sometimes hated people? my bad, i meant that sometimes i really fucking hated people!

Let me just give y'all a little disclaimer here...not only am I twitching and itching, getting ready to jump outta' my skin over something that happened this evening, but I'm close to receiving my monthly "bill" and that certainly hasn't helped matters at all. As with all my rants, when I'm this super pissed I tend to curse excessively so be prepared to bleach out your eye sockets when you're done reading! I also tend to rant for, like, forever, so if you don't like lengthy posts pass this one right by. If you do, then grab your beverage of choice and sit still for a few minutes.

Let's go back in time, shall we? October 29th, 2008 to be exact. My old cell phone was slowly but surely falling apart and I was tired of trying to listen people through white noise static. I went to my local cell phone provider, whom I've been a loyal customer of for the past twelve or so years, and explained my situation to them. As a long-time loyal customer, I was offered a free phone as has been the case numerous times in the past.

The phone I chose, as I have before, is a simple phone. I don't need a Blackberry or any other device that allows me to put on it my Last Will and Testament, access my Swiss bank accounts (yeah, don't I wish!), offer my latest dump measurements or add my newest gourmet recipes (like I can even cook!) nor do I need one that can shoot laser beams in all directions. Not that there's a phone that can actually shoot laser beams but that would be cool, wouldn't it?! Anyway, just give me a fucking phone that can save all my contacts and I'm a happy camper.

Well, let's just say that since early November 2008, this happy camper has been ready to don an old hockey mask, change her name to "Jason" and walk around killing off whomever dares come in close proximity.

My newest cell phone has never worked right. Almost right off the bat, people spoke like they were under water and I heard from more than one person how rude I was because I kept asking "What?" to every question asked. Did I build this fucking cell phone you turd nuggets?! I apologized anyway because that's what nice people do. Oh shut up, I am too nice!

Since October, I have also had a very weak signal inside my home. Because I am an ancient fart and still use dial-up for my computer, I require my cell phone at all times while my land line is tied up with the computer and I require that my cell phone actually works. So I waited and waited and last week I felt I had waited long enough. I went into the cell phone provider to tell them that my phone was a piece of crap (exact words) and that something needed to be done to resolve my cell phone issues.

Now, I can understand how that would come across...if I was the only one dealing with such a problem but there were two other people in the store at the exact same time with the exact same issues with their phones. And the people who worked there were less than helpful because no one really knew what the problem was or could be. Try a new SIM card? Sure, why not! Not quite sure what a SIM card would have to do with the weak signal inside my house but sure, I'll try anything at least once! *wink wink, nudge nudge*

They wouldn't give me a free phone because the phone was too new. Unfortunately, all the phones advertised as FREE were actually quite expensive and I wasn't about to dish out money for that kind of crazy shit! Last but not least, they took my name and address down and PROMISED that within the week, I would hear from a technician who would come out to my house to make sure it was not a cell tower issue in my area. Do you think I ever heard from that technician? I'm wondering if I'd held my breath if that would have helped the situation?! Or maybe I'd just be a dead, dissatisfied cell phone-user.

The latest and greatest to happen to this POS phone I have is that starting today, it no longer allows me to make out-going calls while I'm inside my house. Nope, all I get is that ear-piercing beeping in my ear followed by the ever-popular 'network busy' message flashing on my phone screen.

So I called the provider and basically told them "Fix my phone NOW or eat shit!". Well, fixing my fine right this very instant was not possible because, as far as I know, there is no way to teleport ourselves from here to there and make things better all in the matter of a minute. First, I let loose on a customer service TECH. Had I known that he was just a tech and couldn't help me with my account or any customer service issues, I wouldn't have wasted half my life telling him what was going on. And when I couldn't stand to hear him say for the umpteenth time "I completely understand how you feel.", I asked him to put me through to someone who would actually do something for me.

I wound up with Caroline who was so helpful, I would have reached through the phone and given her a sloppy wet kiss on her girly region had I been able to. She hooked me up with a brand new state-of-the-art cell phone FREE OF FUCKING CHARGE. Now how's THAT for service with a smile?! Of course I won't actually get to lay my hands on that phone 'til mid-week but I guess I can't expect Caroline to walk on water for me or change water into wine. She should be able to do just that but I guess I'll just settle for the free phone. *wink*

Then there's my kids' computer. *sigh* Does everyone remember that fiasco when school was in session, my son needed his computer for school work but neither of my kids happened to mention to me that their existing computer was shot to hell and I had to fork over the big bucks for a new one? Remember how easy a time I had with the purchase and the numerous issues that followed? Well, now there's yet another issue with it.

The other night, out of the clear blue, the browser stopped working. According to the phone company that I purchased the DSL from, they could see from their end that the Internet connection was working just fine but it seems that the wonderful security software I was encouraged to buy from salesperson A at Best Buy, claiming that it was the latest and greatest security software on the market, has allowed a virus in to fuck with the computer. Apparently, this phone company has seen this type of problem on numerous occasions before with this software. Now I have to take the computer back to Best Buy tomorrow so they can figure out the fucking problem and so that I can rip them a new asshole about being told that I was purchasing a great security software package that allows viruses in instead of keeping them out! Motherfuckers!! It will get resolved but nevertheless, another headache to be dealt with.

Last night my son had his fourth basketball game. His team has won all four of their games so far and are really proving to be a great team. But that's not why I'm pissed and this time it has to do with a person and not technology.

Back in the fall during my son's football season, I befriended this gal, another mother of a player. I had met her briefly last year through another friend and in the fall, we really became decent friends.

Lately, we've been doing some stuff together, the movies, drinks, etc.. However, last night something was wrong and the Ice Princess as I now have dubbed her, was completely foreign to me.

I took into consideration that her mother is currently dealing with some health issues and that she may have been preoccupied with that so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. That was after she climbed onto the bleachers on my side and walked across me to sit by the side of the friend I met her through. Kinda' rude if you ask me but these two are as thick as thieves so no big deal. We can't all have the strong, tight friendships we'd like to have.

The IP barely spoke to me, in fact, now that I look back on last night, she only spoke to me when I spoke to her. Never once did she initiate conversation with me. Not to make excuses for her but she did seem to be a little out of sorts and when I called her today to tell her that my daughter wanted to see "Twilight" again and asked if she'd care to join us (she's seen the movie about 20 times!), she said she had come down with something and it wasn't likely that she'd leave the house. She told me that our mutual friend, the one whom she sat beside at the game last night, was going and to call her but I bailed saying that my daughter was probably going to be tired from her soccer practice this evening, told her we'd do it another time and wished her well.

Not an hour later, I got a call on my cell phone from her cell phone. Yeah, she felt so sick that she was out and probably going to see that very movie with our mutual friend. I tried to call her back from my cell phone but, of course, I got my favorite 'network busy' message flashing it's evilness at me. I called her from my house phone and do you know the bitch hung up on me!

Now, I know the difference between an accidental disconnected call and someone hanging up, and that was a hang up. I thought I had gotten the wrong number but sure enough, when I checked, it was the right number and I called back. Do you know that fucking crusty cunt forwarded me to her voicemail?!

I called her house and left the following message on her voicemail...

IP, it is about 8:10 on Friday night. I saw that you tried to call me on my cell phone but, as you know, it's not working right and not only could I not hear you but when I tried to call you back several times from my cell phone it kept giving me a 'network busy' message, the newest of my problems with my phone. I tried calling you from my house phone but you hung up on me the first time and sent me to voicemail the second time. Not sure what I did to deserve that kind of treatment but nevertheless I'm not pleased with it. There really isn't a reason for you to return my call because such rude behavior towards me won't be tolerated.

- CLICK -

I don't know about you, but I'm fairly certain I made myself very clear.

Not two seconds later, my house phone rang and it was she. By that time, I was already logging onto my computer and its connection cut her off. I know I have a voicemail or at least a partial one, but chances are it will be deleted without being heard. As for her reaction to my voicemail? I always anticipate the worst and I always plan my comebacks well in advance just in case. I'm not sure I'll have to use them or even waste my time using them because at this point, I'm not even sure she's worth my friendship.

Yes, the latter is really what has gotten me into a tizzy this evening because, as in my last post, I am not deserving of this kind of treatment. I may sound like a royal fucking twathole on here but in real life, I can be such a great friend to people if they allow me.

With regards to my last post, thank you to all those who responded and offered me their opinions. I have always felt that those removed from a situation can always see things more clearly and I was glad to have received all of your well-thought-out responses.

HOWEVER...

Just a little while ago this evening, my phone rang and it was my long lost lusted-after friend whom I thought had blown me off like a human tumbleweed. He called to see how I was doing and to tell me details of what was going on. So I wanted y'all to see with your own eyes that I retract everything negative I said about him because as a few of you wrote, he's just dealing with this shit and can't be bothered with anyone or anything that doesn't have to do with his present situation.

Rant over. In the immortal words of Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Star Ship Enterprise, "As you were."!!!!

and this is exactly why i am not in a relationship

A week or so ago, a former lust object of mine resurfaced on Facebook. We started reminiscing and after numerous IM chats and one phone call, it wasn't hard to figure out that he was in an unhappy marriage.

I know, red flag. I have the talent to ignore them when I need to pay attention to them.

So we start talking about his unhappy situation. In no offense to any of you because I don't claim to know your marital statuses, but it pisses me off to no end to hear how people will stay in a marriage just for their kids.

Okay, lemme' tell you something folks, and I can say this because I am a divorced woman with two kids who aren't all fucked in the head from the divorce but ya' know what really fucks the kids up in a divorce? The parents. The fighting and hostility rubs off onto them and that is what affects them. Yes, of course the kids don't want their parents to split and want their parents to be all happy happy, but it's the residual effects the arguing has on them that causes the most damage and not the actual split. Don't believe me? Go do some Googling and read up on it.

Again, I can say that because I was once there. If I wasn't arguing with my ex, then we were ignoring each other. I, too, was one of those parents who told myself I would, I could, stay with my ex simply for the sake of the kids but when it came down to it, the minute I realized how our behavior was affecting our kids, I knew it was time to be selfish for once in my marriage and get out while my kids were still sane!

The fact remains, there is no reason why anyone should ever use their kids as the excuse for staying in a wrecked marriage. My parents did and they are two of the most dysfunctional people I know. I can recall numerous times when I'd find my mother crying in a closet and other times when my sister and I hoped my parents would divorce. Frankly, my father could be really fucking sinister when he wanted to be and it would have done him good to have his balls cut off and shoved down his throat but, of course, that's just my fantasy opinion.

Do you know what happens to the person in the marriage who decides to stay for the sake of the kids? That thing we call a 'spine' shrivels up and disintegrates. If my parents were to get a divorce now, my mother wouldn't know what to do with herself and would probably fall into a permanent catatonic state. Which, in hindsight, wouldn't be so bad because then she'd stop telling me I have a brain tumor whenever I get one of my migraines along with the numerous other health issues she claims she has. Can you say "Hypochondriac?"?! C'mon kids, sure ya' can!

Anyway, divorce...been there, done that, have the T-shirt! Friend-to-friend, I talked with this guy about his situation. It made sense, he got it, he knew that not all would be lost if he and his wife were to divorce. The kids would be sad for awhile and then they would recover.

We've chatted and/or Emailed every day since getting back in touch. Strangely enough, he has such a clear, strong memory of our time together down to the details of our sexual encounters. A bit weird but we were able to joke about it without letting it bother us. Suddenly, I made a comment as I had been for the last 20 minutes of our conversation and he says "Uh...oh by the way, the shit went down last night and I'm moving out soon. I'm so worried about the kids so I won't be able to chat with you for awhile.".

Huh?! How did our conversation go from joking one minute to basically telling me C ya'!!

One of two things happened here...first, I can see a brush off from a mile away and I don't appreciate such a thing from anyone, friend or stranger, more so from someone I consider a friend. Two, it was okay for him to make sexual jokes but the second I make one, he gets all weirded out and heads for the hills?! WTF?!

I will admit that I do have a tendency to read into things a bit too much but what else am I left to think? He's all but admitted to me that he still thinks about me and dangles that little carrot in front of my face and then BAM, he's gone quicker than the Star Ship Enterprise at warp speed!

As someone who's experienced divorce firsthand and who understands the ins and outs of the emotions that come into play during such a mourning period, I'm the first one to understand loneliness, neediness, and a whole multitude of emotions that goes along with first separation, then divorce and then the aftermath when you just want to sow your wild oats 'til the cows come home! I'm also the first one to understand wanting to physically get back out into the dating world but not being ready emotionally. After one experience years ago with a newly separated man that left me kinda' shattered, I made a promise to myself that I would not get involved with men who were not only just separated but also emotionally unavailable mainly because, no matter how much they will try to convince you and themselves, they are just not ready to get back out there after going through what can be such a hurtful process. I just can't do it and up until now, I've been a good girl.

In one way, it's different because this guy is not a stranger to me. When we first talked, we picked up our friendship where we last left it and it was good, familiar and fun. Nothing wrong with that. No promises were ever made to me and even if there had been, I wouldn't have believed any of them. I think what bothers me about this situation the most is that this was supposed to be a friendship, nothing more, and as soon as it restarted, he pushed it aside like it didn't mean shit.

For all I know, I could be reading too much into it and I've put together incorrectly the pieces to this puzzle but nevertheless, it sucks to feel like you've just been shit on when you've done nothing to deserve it. I'll recover, I always do and in no offense to the men out there reading this, sometimes I really hate you guys.

when you're right, you're right

Thank you to those of you who shared your thoughts with me. I have received similar advice before from those of you who said not to send an Email. Unfortunately, it's easier for me to express myself with written words instead of in person especially with a father who never lets me get a word in edgewise and always shoots down everything I say. He really has quite the talent for twisting my words!

I will go on my trip and I will deal. And if worse comes to worse and my sister is just making it too miserable for me to handle it, I will leave early. I will do my best to bite my tongue while not biting it completely off but I can't promise you that I won't come back with new scars!

If we get into the thick of things while I'm there, then we'll do just that, it will all be out in the open and then if I have the opportunity, I will throw my sister over the balcony. Pretend you didn't read that. Ya' know, just in case the FBI come knocking on your doors asking questions. In fact, just pretend like you've never even heard of me or my blog. Well most of you don't even know my real name so that should come easy for you!

And if things get really bad, then I will inform them that we will never return again. Let's all keep our fingers crossed for that one!

Thank you to those of you who wrote me private messages on here and personal Emails voicing your opinions. One person asked me if I was dependent on my parents because of money, inheritance, etc.. My parents help me out financially but truthfully, the few thousand I receive from them/year doesn't significantly impact my bank account and if I had to do without, it wouldn't make much of a difference. Yes, there are some trust funds but if it came down to it, I would tell my parents to keep it. Years ago, after I was done telling my father to fuck off during an argument, I told him to take me out of his will. Chances are, when he was done seeing red, he chose not to but I would feel relieved if he did. With my parents, everything they've always given me has come with strings attached. For once, I'd like to be out from under their thumbs even if there was a price to pay for it.

If the shit went happens to go down next week which results in my breaking ties with all of them, I would be all the happier for it. I already know that heated discussions will ensue soon into our visit when my parents realize (probably after my sister throws one of her infamous tantrums) that I'm no longer speaking to my sister and I'm sure they'll try relentlessly to get me back to talking to her. Certainly, if that continues for most of the trip I will notify them that we will no longer be coming back because that's not what a vacation is supposed to be about.

Vacation, what a joke! My kids probably hate being there more than me just because it's boring for them and they can't stand the strict rules they have to follow. The only good thing about this particular trip, is that we're staying in a rented suite in their condo because of plumbing issues that have caused my parents to have to use the guest bedroom for themselves. That means, the kids and I will be kicked out early because my sister has to go to sleep by 7 (not for her beauty sleep because no amount of sleep will ever help with her looks) and we can go out and do stuff without my family ever knowing! Yeefuckinghaw for that!

Having a good weekend when I'm not thinking about them which, thankfully, isn't often!