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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

whisper down the lane

Remember that children's game where you sit in a line, someone starts off whispering something and by the time it reaches the last person, it becomes something entirely different than what was originally said?

On Monday, I received a very disturbing phone call from a friend of mine, a mother of a girl in my daughter's class. She told me that she'd gotten a call from another mother in the class that my daughter was bullying her daughter and that her daughter was "very scared" of my daughter.

I can't recall if I blogged about the time several months ago where I got a call from the guidance counselor how my daughter had been doing some bullying. Either way, I was mortified to know this about my daughter. As a young girl, I was bullied by kids for the glasses I wore and only finally stood up for myself in the 7th grade against that little Oompa Loompa-sized dork, Kipp Cohen after calling me a four-eyed caboose and I told him "Shut up, brace face!". That was the last time Kipp Cohen ever spoke to me. I can still see the expression on his face when he realized I fought back. Ahhh, priceless.

Anyway, because my daughter is a sweet girl in general (don't get me wrong, she has her moments!) and, most of the time, respectful of others, she was given a slap on her wrist, told how inappropriate it was to say certain things and let go with a warning not to do it again. Later on that same day, I made her promise to me that she would never do that again and that I took promises seriously so if she promised, she had to keep it. She promised. And I believe her.

So when I got this phone call, you can imagine how my blood started to boil. I had already thought about all the things and privileges I was going to take away from her after just hearing this from someone whom I knew was a gossip and doesn't get all her facts straight.

Before school let out on Monday afternoon, I was able to find some alone time with my daughter's teacher and assistant teacher. We sat down, I spoke and they both sat there looking dumbfounded. They hadn't heard squat about my daughter doing any such thing, nor had anyone reported her, nor did they really think my daughter had any opportunity during the day to behave in such a manner since there was always a teacher around, teachers are supposed to report such incidences and there were no said reports against my daughter. In fact, they said that she was delightful to have in class, that she was really keeping to herself, doing her work diligently and accurately and was the most improved student of all the kids in the class.

*blank stare*

I didn't know what to say especially since I never expected to get such a favorable report after hearing potentially bad news. They assured me that they would do some digging but that most of the kids in the class were very good about reporting others if they acted out (yeah, those freakin' tattle-tales!) and they honestly hadn't heard anything. It really was quite the odd meeting!

I left feeling very bad that I would go souly on the word of a gossip-monger and that I thought my child would be guilty of something before finding out the truth. Coincidentally enough, as I was leaving the building, I ran into the mother of the girl who said my daughter was bullying her! I stopped her to talk to her and was not about to apologize to her for anything until I finished my investigation into the matter. She was on her way in to meet with the principal as her daughter, the same one who was accusing my daughter of hurting her, was doing very poorly in school and because of that, everything else negative that happened in her life was greatly magnified. In other words, she was blowing shit outta' proportion.

Hmmmm...I had a feeling right then and there that her daughter was a little fucking liar.

Prior to my meeting with my daughter's teacher, I had already contacted the guidance counselor. She got back to me later on in the day and I met with her yesterday morning. She, too, had done some investigating and neither saw or heard anything wrong with my daughter. In fact, again, quite the opposite and she said how everyone was so proud of her. Talk about a sense of relief!

She also said that the girl in question has quite a way of dramatizing things. And with three other sisters, she was most likely doing it to get attention. She said she would bring her in to talk about. I told her that I didn't feel it was a good idea to bring my daughter in with her. After all the positive changes my daughter has gone through, I would hate for her to feel shot down if she found out someone was making up stories about her. The guidance counselor agreed.

She also assured me that the little girl doing the accusing is not scared about anything. That she knows how to stick up for herself just fine and it was probably just a case of perception. Regardless, if that little girl every tries to fuck with my daughter again, I'M gonna' kick her ass myself!

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Blogger Attila The Mom said...

Grrr. Just wait. You still have high school to get through. ;-)

April 8, 2009 at 6:42 AM  
Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I couldn't stand bullying in school. my sister and I stuck up for the kids that were getting teased.

April 8, 2009 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Mom, ya' know what? When my daughter reaches high school, if there are any of those little bitches wanna' cross her, they can cross me first and lemme' tell you, I'm one tough bridge to cross! As someone who was bullied for the glasses I wore, my height (I was the tallest girl in the 5th grade) and my name, I have zero tolerance for it and I will ALWAYS protect my children no matter what. The guidance counselor yesterday told me that she thought I was a good mom because too many times she sees parents making excuses for their kids' behavior instead of taking a proactive stance. I went into that meeting with guns blazing, ready to tell her to give my daughter a detention if she saw fit. Thank goodness I didn't need to make that suggestion!

BS/BC, you girls are good people! I don't think anyone ever stood up for me...not even the teachers that heard it going on right in front of their ugly faces. Motherfuckers. lol

April 8, 2009 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

I find it strange that you didn't comment about the call from the mother from the mother, etc. in your second paragraph. After all, it was gossip and misinformation that started the whole thing...

April 8, 2009 at 1:32 PM  
Blogger Koolio said...

Well Charlie, I think it goes without saying that the gossip pissed me off. Gossip and gossipers annoy the hell outta' me. I try not to get involved but sometimes I unfortunately get sucked in. I did hint at it by expressing the anger which I felt towards myself when I was ready to take everything away from my daughter just by going on what someone told me.

I have another post coming about the gossiper herself. You'll enjoy it, lol.

April 8, 2009 at 4:53 PM  

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