whisper down the lane

Remember that children's game where you sit in a line, someone starts off whispering something and by the time it reaches the last person, it becomes something entirely different than what was originally said?

On Monday, I received a very disturbing phone call from a friend of mine, a mother of a girl in my daughter's class. She told me that she'd gotten a call from another mother in the class that my daughter was bullying her daughter and that her daughter was "very scared" of my daughter.

I can't recall if I blogged about the time several months ago where I got a call from the guidance counselor how my daughter had been doing some bullying. Either way, I was mortified to know this about my daughter. As a young girl, I was bullied by kids for the glasses I wore and only finally stood up for myself in the 7th grade against that little Oompa Loompa-sized dork, Kipp Cohen after calling me a four-eyed caboose and I told him "Shut up, brace face!". That was the last time Kipp Cohen ever spoke to me. I can still see the expression on his face when he realized I fought back. Ahhh, priceless.

Anyway, because my daughter is a sweet girl in general (don't get me wrong, she has her moments!) and, most of the time, respectful of others, she was given a slap on her wrist, told how inappropriate it was to say certain things and let go with a warning not to do it again. Later on that same day, I made her promise to me that she would never do that again and that I took promises seriously so if she promised, she had to keep it. She promised. And I believe her.

So when I got this phone call, you can imagine how my blood started to boil. I had already thought about all the things and privileges I was going to take away from her after just hearing this from someone whom I knew was a gossip and doesn't get all her facts straight.

Before school let out on Monday afternoon, I was able to find some alone time with my daughter's teacher and assistant teacher. We sat down, I spoke and they both sat there looking dumbfounded. They hadn't heard squat about my daughter doing any such thing, nor had anyone reported her, nor did they really think my daughter had any opportunity during the day to behave in such a manner since there was always a teacher around, teachers are supposed to report such incidences and there were no said reports against my daughter. In fact, they said that she was delightful to have in class, that she was really keeping to herself, doing her work diligently and accurately and was the most improved student of all the kids in the class.

*blank stare*

I didn't know what to say especially since I never expected to get such a favorable report after hearing potentially bad news. They assured me that they would do some digging but that most of the kids in the class were very good about reporting others if they acted out (yeah, those freakin' tattle-tales!) and they honestly hadn't heard anything. It really was quite the odd meeting!

I left feeling very bad that I would go souly on the word of a gossip-monger and that I thought my child would be guilty of something before finding out the truth. Coincidentally enough, as I was leaving the building, I ran into the mother of the girl who said my daughter was bullying her! I stopped her to talk to her and was not about to apologize to her for anything until I finished my investigation into the matter. She was on her way in to meet with the principal as her daughter, the same one who was accusing my daughter of hurting her, was doing very poorly in school and because of that, everything else negative that happened in her life was greatly magnified. In other words, she was blowing shit outta' proportion.

Hmmmm...I had a feeling right then and there that her daughter was a little fucking liar.

Prior to my meeting with my daughter's teacher, I had already contacted the guidance counselor. She got back to me later on in the day and I met with her yesterday morning. She, too, had done some investigating and neither saw or heard anything wrong with my daughter. In fact, again, quite the opposite and she said how everyone was so proud of her. Talk about a sense of relief!

She also said that the girl in question has quite a way of dramatizing things. And with three other sisters, she was most likely doing it to get attention. She said she would bring her in to talk about. I told her that I didn't feel it was a good idea to bring my daughter in with her. After all the positive changes my daughter has gone through, I would hate for her to feel shot down if she found out someone was making up stories about her. The guidance counselor agreed.

She also assured me that the little girl doing the accusing is not scared about anything. That she knows how to stick up for herself just fine and it was probably just a case of perception. Regardless, if that little girl every tries to fuck with my daughter again, I'M gonna' kick her ass myself!

a little bit of this. a little bit of that.

I know it's been awhile since I've blogged or visited many of your blogs but I've had a lot of shit going on here.

It's been one week since we've had Jasper and in that time, I've taught him how to walk with a leash, he' responds to his name, he's learned which food bowl is his and he's taken 4 heaping shits inside the house, one of which has probably permanently stained my family room carpet. In that time, Schwartz has regressed some much like a young child would when he/she sees his/her sibling doing his/her business in diapers and has peed a few times in the house right in front of us.

Jasper also has a very mean, dark side and at least twice a day, I'm screaming at Jasper when he lashes out at Schwartz and literally attacks him when playtime gets outta' hand. Thankfully, Schwartz does not have an existing injuries but if this continues past the 6 month mark, I will be taking Jasper back to the shelter. I don't think Jasper would harm any of us but I have to keep that in mind while all this is going on plus his interest in the cats has taken him to trying to lay down on them and squash them, of which he gets reprimanded for as well. I'm thinking that I should change his name to Damien because he definitely has an evil side to him.

For weeks now, I have been trying to refinance my mortgage through my mortgage company but early last week, the guy I had been working with stopped returning my phone calls and Emails and I missed out on locking in a 4.625% rate. Since I will not be ignored (thank you Glenn Close for that perfect line), I called the mortgage company to start over with someone new only to find out that no one could speak to me right then and there because all the loan officers are so extremely busy with other clients wanting to refinance and that I'd probably hear back from someone within 10 business days. Probably? I don't think so.

I then decided to contact my bank thinking that since I'm a long-time customer, they could hook me up with something decent only to find out that since I'm not employed, there's probably little chance that I could get a mortgage through them.

My only other option was to put my tail between my legs and talk to my parents about helping me refinance since that's really the only other option I have and I have to do something now because my 5 ARM/6 month deal is about to be up in the next few months and I'll be damned if I keep giving this shitty mortgage company my business.

*takes a deep breath*

Then, if all that wasn't enough, I got a call just a little while ago from the lower school guidance counselor that my 8-year old daughter has been singled out by quite a number of girls in her grade as saying bad words to them and talking about "hairy body parts". My daughter, who's been instructed by me since she started Pre-K at this school, that she will not be mean to others, is being a social bully and I am absolutely mortified and horrified at her behavior.

Do you know why she's doing this? Because the person who shall not be mentioned here and his lovely (cough, cough) bride of just over a year and a half are getting a divorce and my daughter is pissed off. She doesn't care that she knows she will feel my holy wrath when she comes home today because if she did, she would have never done what she's done. She knows she can't get away with this shit at school or at home, yet this is the kind of disturbing behavior she's exhibiting.

And, although I should be thankful, the person who shall not be mentioned here is once again his old social self with me, going out of his way to talk and be nice to me. Why should this bother me? Because the guidance counselor told me that she was going to call him when she was done speaking with me and when he called to mention that they had spoken and I mentioned "hairy body parts", he thought it appropriate to ask me if I was having "grooming" issues. Nice, huh? Here is a man who has treated me with such disrespect while he was with this woman only to continue to treat me with more disrespect after the fact. I'm glad he thinks it's funny.

I hope the person who shall not be mentioned here is happy with himself and his dysfunctional, ugly fucking cunt of a tramp soon-to-be ex gold-digging whore of a wife.

As a side note, I don't know who my daughter has heard say bad words. It certainly isn't me. Heh.

I need a nap.

the hussy...and some other shit

I was gonna' give y'all a lengthy explanation about what's transpired over the last few days with regards to the hussy, but I just don't have the fucking time! So I'm just gonna' mention a few specifics and then be done with it.

First lemme' tell you how much it sucks to learn about what your son has been doing with a "girlfriend" from other people. It really makes me feel like I haven't done my job as a parent when my own son isn't honest enough with me to tell me himself or I find out from others that he's lied to me about things. I learned about him cuddling with this girl during a choir practice which caused the friend whom she had just broken up with to cry. I learned about my son slow-dancing with this girl at a party last weekend. I've learned that all the boys and girls in their grade who are "dating" each other hug each other in the hallways and hold hands under the table in the cafeteria. It really all makes me rather sick, to be honest. I know some parents don't mind that shit but I do.

In the end, my friend and I decided the best thing to do was to meet with this girl's mother ASAP to try to resolve things. We did so yesterday and we all came to the conclusion that all our kids are too young for this girlfriend/boyfriend nonsense, that they need to dedicate themselves more to doing well in school and behaving themselves (especially this girl who apparently has a tendency to do some real malicious things and while I would like to tell you about some of them, I've promised not to say anything from the people who told me so I can't broadcast the news over the Internet), and focusing more on developing and maintaining friendships rather than ridiculous relationships that they're neither ready for physically or emotionally.

Her mother was very nice and cooperative and didn't hesitate to meet with us. I walked away from the meeting having made the following observations...

The mother seems to have knowledge of at least some of what's been going on and has already taken steps with school advisors/guidance counselors to correct things. Her daughter is her only child and is spoiled and because she's probably always played them, they've probably never really disciplined her well which has allowed her to think that she can get away with anything. That behavior has unfortunately spilled over to school where she hasn't realized until now that there are consequences for her actions.

End result, my son and my friend's son are still friends, my son is still friends with this girl and while both boys still like her, neither my friend or I are allowing them to get within ten feet of her!

Now for the other shit.

Ya' know what's worse than waking up in a bad mood? Starting the day out in a great mood and winding up a sour puss.

My cleaning girl comes every other Wednesday. Today was that Wednesday. I try to compile all my errands to keep me outta' the house so I'm not underfoot. Today I came home to her standing on a very high ladder in front of this crappy, cheesy, standard hallway chandalier that most builders install in every new home. She was cursing at herself and announced to me that she had broken it.

For some odd reason, she felt compelled to dust it while there was a multititude of other things she could have cleaned but didn't get done because this POS fixture was just calling out to her. Meanwhile, she had been standing there 15 minutes trying to fix it while other things could have gotten done.

In the 11 years since this house was built and in the 9+ years that I've lived here, that chandalier has never been dusted because it's so far up, then you couldn't notice if bats were hanging from it let alone dust. According to her, she had barely touched it when it fell apart in her hands.

Between the numerous "I can fix anything's" and "I'm so sorry's", I felt like she thought those words were as good as money - the money it would cost me to fix this POS fixture.

While she was returning the ladder to my neighbor, I called an electrician to set up the earliest appointment. My cleaning girl gets paid $75 every other week and just for them to come out here is $75. Then there's the first hour rate, the second hour rate and so on and so forth. I had no choice but to set up an appointment with them. I can't have this piece dangling above everyone's head, threatening to crash land!

When she returned, already knowing the answer, I asked her if she was bonded and insured and she told me she wasn't. I asked her if she would be willing to pay for it. She said "If it's over $100, no."

Uh, COME AGAIN?!?!?!?!?

Ya' know, I love it when people automatically assume that just because I'm a full-time mom and I don't work that I'm just made of money. The only messes I'm responsible for cleaning up after are mine, the kids when they really fuck up and Schwartz's.

So being me, I spoke up:

Well, I'm sorry L. but you broke something and now you have to pay for it. That's why cleaning companies have insurance to pay for any damages that occur while they're on the job and while I know you're one person and probably don't make enough money to buy insurance, you need to expect that sometimes such things will happen. And while you don't think it's fair that you should have to pay for it, I don't think it's fair that you expect that I will.

At this point, she actually said to me that, if I wanted to, I could keep the $25 Barnes and Noble gift card I had just given her for the holidays to make up for some of the damages!

WTF?!

I'm fairly certain that a gift card can be treated like a gift in that if you need to return it they'll refund your money but that wasn't the point! She wasn't owning up to something that was clearly her fault!

I finally just told her that she had to pay for half the cost of fixing and/or replacing the fixture and that I would take $5 out of her paychecks until things were paid off. I mean, I'm not totally heartless! I don't want the woman to starve and wind up living in an old refrigerator box!

Although I'm certain that kicking her ass into oblivion would have felt pretty damn good at least for a few minutes!

hussy-in-training

I did something today that I think every parent dreads at some point. I made the decision that my son could no longer be a boyfriend to this girl he's been "dating" on and off since last year in the 5th grade.

Here's what happened...he was "dating" her which really consists of talking and texting on the phone and the occasional hug at school. He was invited to her birthday party in October and because he considered her special, he spent $60 on very nice earrings for her.

Little did I know, that during the time it took us to drive to her party, she was already talking to another boy, one of my son's friends, about being boyfriend/girlfriend with him which I actually found that out this very evening.

I found out that my son was no longer "dating" her on Halloween when I was taking he and his friends out trick-or-treating. He didn't seem bothered by it at all. I found out who she was dating from his friend's mother and I was kinda' shocked that this had happened so quickly. I figured this girl was just very boy crazy but then I found there's more to it than that.

Tomorrow night, my kids have a special holiday choir performance and they were at the facility today putting on the final touches. While we were waiting for our kids to finish up, this boy's mom came up to me and told me that this girl broke up with her son on Friday and immediately contacted my son to ask if they could be boyfriend/girlfriend again.

When I found out that this girl had one of her girlfriends tell this boy that she wanted to break up with him and that this boy went home to his mom, my friend, and cried his eyes out because he couldn't understand why, or what he had done for her to be so mean to him, that just made my heart ache for this boy. And it made me so angry that this girl was doing this to both boys.

Soon after arriving home this evening, I sat down with my son and told him that I had to put my foot down with something and told him that he could no longer be a boyfriend to this girl. He took it very hard and started crying. I did my best to explain things to him but I don't really think an 11 year old boy can truly grasp the games that this girl is playing. I told him how she was coming between two friends and that was the most hurtful thing she could possibly do and how friendships are so much more important than girlfriends. I also stressed the fact that he was too young for something like this, even if it made him feel special, and that first and foremost he had to concentrate on school and not be distracted by this girl.

After dinner, I called my friend and told her that I had told my son that he could no longer "date" her and she and I got into an indepth conversation about it. Apparently, when this girl had broken up with my son in October, she had done it in the same manner as she did with his friend. How my son couldn't be hurt by something like that is beyond me but then I remember that he's one of the youngest in his grade and while he just turned 11 over the summer, most of the other kids are turning 12 or have been 12 for some time so perhaps he's not as in tune to his emotions as some of his friends are.

Then I found out that during choir practice today, my friend's son wanted to tell my son to stay away from this girl but then he briefly got angry with my son for taking her back so easily without thinking of his (the friend's) feelings first. I told her it was probably a good idea that her son didn't say anything because while they're both too young to understand, sometimes it's better to find such things out on their own. Frankly, I don't think my son would have listened to his friend and I think if I hadn't said anything to my son, that he would always put this girl before any of his friendships.

But I want my son to hear it straight from his friend's mouth so sometime after school this week. we're gonna' get our boys together and help them to understand the problem behind her actions and that hearing the same thing from both parents will really help them to understand and hopefully to really think for themselves should they encounter a similar experience in the future. Plus, my son really needs to hear straight from his friend how hurt his friend was. I think such a pow-wow will really get them both thinking.

Boy, it's fucking tough being a parent sometimes!

stupid people in abundance

Yesterday started out like any other day. Then I guess my intolerance for the stupid people took hold of me.

The first stupid person I encountered was at the supermarket. I was in the checkout line, putting my items on the conveyor belt and the woman behind me was doing the same, her items getting mixed in with my items. The first time she apologized, moving her things back and putting one of those bars inbetween our items but then she kept doing it and the cashier had that motion sensor button turned on so that when an item reaches the end of the belt, the belt stops.

At this point, the woman kept putting her items on the belt, oblivious to what was going on. Or she was just plain fucking stupid and disrespectful. I couldn't put any more of my items on the belt because every time I moved her items back to put mine on the belt, the belt kept moving forward.

Her actions, of course, were delaying not only me but her. I finally stopped, turned and glared at her. Oblivious. I took it upon myself to remove her items and put them back in her cart. This she noticed. And me, well being me, spoke up:

"You are holding me up! I can't check out if you keep putting your items on the belt. Most people would understand that common courtesy is to wait for the person in front of you to finish loading their items before the person behind them does so. So back off and cut it out already or you'll be picking your items up off the damn floor!"

I must really scare the bejeebus outta' people because she removed the rest of her items from the belt and waited for me to finish. If I ever see her in the supermarket again, I'm ramming her fucking cart up her ass!

The stupid people didn't show their ugly faces again 'til after I picked my son up after school when he announced to me that someone had picked the lock on his gym locker and stolen a pair of PE shorts. The lock was then locked again. This was also done to two other of his basketball teammates. I was livid.

You might be asking yourselves why I would be so angry over a pair of PE shorts. Allow me to answer that by sharing the Email I sent to the middle school principal and the headmaster of the school:

Dear Mr. B. and Mrs. H.,

My son, (his name), is on the 6th grade basketball team. Upon picking him up from practice this afternoon, Thursday December 4th, he informed me that sometime after his Tuesday PE class and after his 10am PE class this morning, someone picked the lock on his gym locker and stole a pair of his PE shorts. While this also happened to two other teammates of his, (their names), I am just writing about my son.

I apologize in advance for the harsh tone this message may take on but I am angry. It's not the shorts I care so much about as I do the principle of the matter. I do not pay all this money to send my children to such a reputable school and have some delinquent children (I can only assume that immature children would pull this kind of prank) show such disregard and disrespect toward fellow classmates. Nothing comes cheap at (name of school) and if my son's shorts are not returned to him undamaged within a weeks time, I feel it's only fair to be compensated with a new pair of PE shorts for my son, free of charge of course.

And just so that you know, if and when the person and/or persons involved in this act are found, I will be looking into pressing criminal charges against him/her/them. I don't care if they're my son's teammates, classmates or other students that attend (name of school), I find this situation completely unacceptable and will not tolerate anyone being given a simple slap on the wrist.

I ended the letter with asking them to contact me should they want to discuss things further.

Here's what I think will happen...

The principle and headmaster will contact me offering their apologies and begging me not to take any legal action against the students and letting them handle things.

Trust me when I tell you I will never let that happen! If this had happened four years ago and the previous pushover headmaster was still in control, he would have accepted a hefty donation to the school from the parents of the child/children involved in the theft, brushed the whole situation under the rug and that would have been the end of it. The current headmaster doesn't tolerate shit and will certainly be concerned enough to get to the bottom of things but will probably do whatever he can so as not to let me get involved.

Here's what I would like to happen...

The principal and headmaster will contact me offering their apologies and telling me that I can be involved in the punishment phase when the suspects are found. Here is what I would like to see happen...

1. All persons involved will get a week's suspension that will remain on their academic records. If they know where they articles of clothing are, they will return them to the boys they stole from. If not, they will purchase new PE uniforms for the three boys.

2. During this suspension, they will have to work the entire school day with the school's maintenance crew as a kind of community service. I'm certainly not gonna' allow these children to be suspended so they can stay at home watching fucking TV all day! They're gonna' have to work off their punishment.

3. Upon returning to school, whomever their English teachers are, they will have to write a handwritten apology note of no less than 500 words to the three boys they stole from, the headmaster and the entire school and this will be graded by the English teacher(s). Anything less than a C, and the child fails the English class for the rest of the school year.

And that's my going easy on them.

4. If any of the suspects, if there's more than one, don't want to abide by any of the above, then the police will be called, they will be taken to juvy, expelled from school for stealing and the matter will remain on their school record forever which will make it impossible to get into any decent college.

I know it all sounds farfetched but trust me when I tell you, I'm not letting anyone get away with this kind of bullshit. I will make a lot of noise if anyone tries to quiet me down!

This story is far from being over so stay tuned!

i have issues...

...with obnoxious families who go to the movies and talk throughout it. I have issues with such families who don't have enough common sense to teach their turdy children manners and not to constantly stomp on the seat in front of them. Especially my seat. I have huge issues with stupid, redneck women who scream out "HOLY CRAP!!" at something that's happened in a kid's movie. I'm pretty sure the woman got the hint when I turned around completely in my seat and glared at her ugly face.

Even though that's not what this post is about, you should go see Madagascar 2. It's a good movie...as long as you can hear what's being said and you don't have a family of blabbermouths seated behind you!

The real issue at hand is the one I mentioned a few days ago about the injured boy who was the quarterback on my son's football team was recently being permitted to try out for the basketball team despite his serious injury. I waited until the team results were posted before writing this because I didn't want to jump the gun if this boy wasn't on the team. As it turns out, he did make the team as did my son and my son is a bit disappointed that some of his good friends did not make the team.

I truly believe that had this boy not made the team, at least one of his friends would have and this brings me to the point of this post.

As some of you may recall, this boy broke both the ulna and radius in his left forearm, a serious injury that has required him to be in a cast since right before Halloween. Not even a month later, and he's trying out for a new sport. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

I know some of you may not agree with some things I'm about to say, but I'm pissed. It's a whole common sense issue that has left me very annoyed.

I'm wondering if anyone else out there agrees that this boy should not have been permitted to try out for a sport with an existing injury? I want to believe that the coaches/school made he and his parents sign a waiver that did not blame them for any additional injuries that might occur by playing a sport with an injury but I don't know if that happened or if the school even has a policy for such things.

As someone who has broken bones before and who knows that simply removing a cast does not mean all is healed, I really want to know how this boy is going to play once his cast is finally removed? And what would happen if, once the cast is removed, he injures it again during practice or a game as people are pushed and bumped all the time during such games? Who's to blame?

I'll tell you who I think is to blame. I think any coach who allows an injured child to try out for or be on a team should be fired. And I don't care what the injury is, I think any parent who allows their child to play a sport with that serious an injury should be confronted by someone from Social Services because, in my honest opinion, that's not looking out for your child's best interest.

I had a discussion about this with my ex who didn't seem to understand what I was trying to say. He told me that this boy's father was a doctor. Seriously, WTF does that have anything to do with the issue at hand?! I've known doctors who have their heads shoved high up their asses...as apparently this boy's father does for allowing his son to play with an injury.

Then there's the whole moral issue that goes along with this. Do I care that this kid is an all-around athlete, one of the best in the 6th grade? Fuck no! Do I care that a boy with a pre-existing injury made a team because of his athletic abilities over someone who was not injured and actually deserved to be on the team? You're damn right I do!

Unfortunately, I have no say in the matter but if I had the chance, I would pull the cast of this kid's arm and beat him over the head with it. Someone needs to knock some sense into him!

hello, weenie

My son sure knows how to put the 'weenie' in Halloween.

Halloween started off as every other Halloween has in past years...got the kids up early, excitement seeping through their pores. Took them to school, watched my daughter in the lower school parade (my son is a bystander as well now that he's in middle school) and then came home to get some things done including taking a nap as I was up a good part of the night watching my beloved Ghost Hunters doing their thang live and it was the most boring thing I've ever seen!

This Halloween was a bit different. This was the first year that my kids went trick-or-treating separately. The lower school let out at noon and my daughter went to her friend's house. My son brought home a friend and since they are trying out for basketball in the next few weeks, asked me to take me to the court in our subdivision for a few hours so they could shoot some hoops.

This is when the madness of Halloween set in and my son decided it was as good a time as any to start acting like a Weenie McSpazitron.

After dropping my son and his friend off at the court, I headed for Subway to get them their dinner. Only this Subway was full of a bunch of dipshit doofae (the plural of doofus) and had no pepperoni to make their spicy Italian sub. Um, dickheads, the pepperoni is what makes the spicy Italian sub spicy and for fuck sake, there's a supermarket a hop, skip and jump from your fucking store so get crackin'!

I elected to get him the only other item he likes from that place and needless to say, it was the wrong choice and he pitched the fit of a 2-year old in the car on the way home. I can't even imagine what his friend was thinking at the whining and carrying on because I didn't get him the sandwich of his choice. Then he started hitting the back of my seat with his basketball, cutting me off with everything I said but the icing on the cake was when he started to endlessly beg his friend to let him eat his sub until his friend finally caved just to shut my son up! His friend bargained with him and my son was happy again.

This type of behavior reminded me exactly of my sister who pitches a fit whenever she doesn't get her way. Let me assure y'all, that was nipped in the bud real fast yesterday. I took away my son's phone, firmly spoke to him in such a way that he could understand that his obnoxious behavior and rude name-calling (calling me "fart nugget" for instance) was not acceptable and then I spanked him. Oh yes I did! Although it probably did nothing but give him a sore ass for a few minutes, it felt very good to me! I can count on one hand how many times I've had to spank my kids over the years but I never thought I would have to spank an 11 year old!

Unfortunately, my words must have faded in the wind as fast as a fart because he continued with his shit as soon as we were home. His joking and his playful hitting did not go over well with me. I let it go only because I didn't want to put a damper on Halloween and spend the evening embarrassing him in front of his friend but today his Halloween candy is being taken away for several days as punishment. God damn, do these freakin' punishments ever end?!

The kids had dinner and then spent their time playing on the computer until another of their friends arrived around 7ish. Then we headed out to brave the crowded streets. Trick-or-treating started off slow and then got to a point where the streets were so jam-packed it took nearly 20 minutes for us to be able to turn one street corner! They were so thirsty from running around that they were desperate to get back to my house just to get a drink and I couldn't get the truck in front of me to turn the damn corner! Police were everywhere to try and make things go smoothly but it wasn't working very well!

I should mention that one of my son's friends, the one he ate dinner with, whom I liked before last evening, was not on his best behavior either. Twice he called out some nasty things like "suck it" and "move your asses" to the people passing by, and twice I had to told him to stop it because I ive there and see some of these people on a daily basis. I thought things were fine after he apologized the first time, but sadly, I was mistaken when he blurted out the second comment like he had Tourrettes! I was a bit taken aback by what this 12 year old was saying because despite the fact that I have a mouth on me and have been known to let some colorful words slip in front of my kids, last night made it very clear to me that this was not someone I wanted my son to be friends with. My kids know that if I say something, bad it doesn't give them the right or reason to say it themselves, but when my son's at school, I have no idea what he's learning from his friends. I realize that I can't stop him from learning this type of behavior but I can stop him from associating with these kids. I understand that these kids are at the age where they're just trying to find their place in this world but do they have to do it in such a rude way?!

We finally got home, they downed some water and then we headed out to some quieter streets near my house. The highlight of the evening, was watching the kids walk up to this one home when this guy in a Jason mask jumped out from behind a tree and chased them with a chainsaw! Now before any of you parents say something about how dangerous that could have been, there was no chain on the chainsaw and it couldn't have caused a scratch! Of course, my son being the obnoxiously loud tool that he was last night told the guy to come over to the car to scare me and all it did was make me laugh! I high-fived the guy and thanked him for making my son scream like a girl!

Also different from this year was the way we decorated the house. We did away with some of the older, babyish Halloween decorations for more scary, Night of the Living Dead-type props. Several bodyparts laying askew on our front step, a decapitated head hanging from one of our trees, various tombstones scattered on our lawn with a pile of dirt formed in front of one of the tombstones to resemble a newly buried body. We also had some motion-detected decorations including a big-ass hairy spider right above my front door that dropped down at every single little noise, a rattlesnake that lunged for everything that moved and a zombie face that begs people to come closer so that he can scream right at them. There's this awesome costume store right near my house that sells the most incredible decorations including black, red and brown fake spiderwebs, for instance. Last year we opted for the blood red ones and this year was black which we got complimented on left and right. I'm sure the big, gnarly spiders hanging from it had something to do with it as well.

However...

After seeing some of the homes all decked out in Halloween paraphenalia last night, I'm going to have to rethink things for next year. This is really the one time of year that I LOVE to decorate the house and I'm really going to have to go full throttle next year. Right here, right now, I'm taking a solemn vow to be that house in the neighborhood that everyone flocks to every night preceeding Halloween just to get one more look at the decorations! I may be broke when all is said and done but it will be worth it!

I am even willing to take the risk that some toddlers out there will be scarred for life from what they will see! I promise not to have any second thoughts or a guilty conscience for fucking up some poor kid! I'm thoughtful that way.

Hope y'all had a great Halloween!