i'm going straight to hell for this one

I did something today that I believe most people would consider unforgivable.

I have this guy friend who's having extreme marital problems. Divorce is eminent but with him it's like shit or get off the pot already! He has become far too needy, and has latched onto me in such ways that it is extremely aggravating, I find myself getting little to no pleasure from the friendship and very frustrated after speaking with him. While I've been where he is emotionally, I decided this morning that being friends with him at this point in my life was not healthy for me. I've neglected far too many people and things trying to help him through his personal issues that I finally put my foot down this morning.

That's not exactly what has gotten me a reservation for first-class seating in hell. What's gotten me there is that I mainly ended the friendship so he would grow a fucking backbone, take charge of his life once and for all and at least separate from that bitch he calls a wife instead of whining about this, that and the other thing, taking one step forward and a hundred back and dragging me along with him.

I, for one, completely understand what he's going through emotionally, that's what makes this even harder for me. When I was going through my own personal turmoil, I did it alone and I knew that was the only way I was going to come out whole again and ten times stronger. I had become too much of a crutch to this guy. He's relied on my support so heavily, there've been days I couldn't get through without him calling, texting or Emailing me every hour. My daughter has even become annoyed with him and she doesn't even know him personally! He's the only one I text message with and every time my phone beeps three, four times in a row she says things like "Ugh! It's him again?!". He is constantly coming up with excuses for things he's doing or not doing, it is beyond ridiculous. And ya' know what? I totally blame myself for this happening! Too often, I have allowed myself to get sucked into other peoples' drama. The advice/suggestions I offer becomes such an intricate part of their lives that, and not to toot my own horn, they use it like it's life support. It's times like these that they are unable to truly appreciate the friendship and/or the true meaning behind it and that's when the hand-holding ceases and an exit strategy becomes necessary.

Do I hate myself for this? Damn straight, I do! When all is said and done, will he understand and accept my reasons for doing it? I can only hope.

tips on how to start a really great fire in your fire place

Anyone have any?! 'Cause, let's just say, if I was a Girl Scout, I would have failed miserably at getting my fire badge!

When we moved into this house 9+ years ago, my kids were young. We set up a play table and chairs right in front of the fire place and made the choice not to use it until they were older to avoid any possible accidents. This past summer, I told the kids that this was the year.

I was going to do this right. I called a chimney company to have them inspect my chimney. One part has to be replaced but doesn't effect having fires so I went ahead, got the wood stand, the tools and bought some firewood. I still had those long fire place matches from the last house we lived in back in Atlanta.

I bought the wood from our supermarket. It was convenient, the wood appeared to be fine and I didn't expect there to be a problem. We didn't need a lot because I only intended on having fires here on weekends I have the kids.

This past weekend I had the kids. They were excited Saturday night because we were going to have a fire. My first mistake was using newspaper as kindling. Bad idea. With the flue open, the room still started filling with smoke! Luckily, the wood hadn't yet ignited, so I put out the fire and aired out the room.

A little while later, we tried again without the newspaper. Match after match, and nothing happened. Nothing. It seemed this wood was flame retardant! I used the entire box of matches and still the wood wouldn't catch fire! I stuck matches in every crevice possible and we thought we had fire a few times but it turned out it was just the match sticks burning! I noticed some parts of the wood were charred but never actually caught fire!

My kids told me about the Duraflame pine cones that their dad uses. I had seen those while shopping in Target the other day but thought, "How hard could starting a fire possibly be that I need these pine cones?!". Now it seems that I do, in fact, need those pine cones, or some other fire starting product, if I ever want to see any actual wood-burning fire in my fire place!

Any suggestions? Does anyone out there take pity on a poor, pathetic fire starter-challenged woman?!